I often hear people say that the way we currently live our lives due to COVID-19, is our “New normal”. But what if for you that “new” normal is already your normal? What do I mean by this? Let me explain: many parents due to COVID-19 are staying at home, they are either working from home or sadly lost their jobs, therefore they are all home all day with their children. Since schools are closed for the rest of the year following a state at home order, they have to homeschool but many of them are struggling. Not only that, parents have to learn to multitask and entertain their children indoors since all parks are closed. Not being able to have a babysitter over or to drop kids off for a few hours with the grandparents, has put many parents in a difficult and stressful situation. But for you, this is nothing new. You perhaps do not have a babysitter, or a support system nearby. You may not have grandparents to drop your kids off and get some time for yourself.
If you are in a situation like me, with no support system close by then you learn to do everything with your kids alone. I remember when my daughter was a newborn and my son was 1.5 years old, my husband was sent to a deployment. My mother was visiting to help out, but after a month she had to go back home because she had to return to work, so there I was, alone, with a baby and a toddler. I was constantly thinking that I wasn’t going to be able to juggle a house with two babies, I was even terrified to even go out to the store or even take a SHOWER! Then without thinking much I was going grocery shopping with my two babies, had a system in place while in the house and was even able to do my HAIR!!! I came to the realization that I underestimated myself way too much, I was capable of doing so many things while caring for two babies but again this was my normal, the only one I know since becoming a mother, due to our military lifestyle, but this normal is becoming a new normal for many parents out there.
Whether this situation is new or not to you it can be overwhelming. This is why you must keep your feelings always in check. Remember, it is okay to have bad days, days when you feel tired, days when you feel anxious or even days when you feel sad and all you want to do is cry and cry. All these feelings are totally valid and are okay to feel from time to time. Now, the problem arises when those feelings are more constant. Then is when you need to acknowledge them, talk about them and ask for help. This is not something that only affects you, it affects your family as well. After the birth of my daughter I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression and I am grateful that I listened to my body and took action upon that because that brought me to the right treatment at the time. Now being in quarantine and so many things going on around us, it can be a very difficult time for many of us, therefore, we have to try and find what ground us. Here are some things that I have found that work for me:
You read that correctly! I am not telling you to become a bad mother or wife, or to neglect your family - NEVER! I would never suggest that, but I have learned over time through tough lessons that if you don’t make time to care for yourself, you are not able to care for anybody else, so you need to have some “you time” or when you simply are not feeling good and need to rest, do that! Do whatever you need to do to be well, you will only be able to give the best version of yourself when you are feeling your 100%.
LEARN TO RELY ON YOUR TRIBE
There was this one particular day I will never forget; my son was only 1 and I was pregnant with my daughter, my son woke up vomiting nonstop (sorry for the TMI). We only had one car at that time, and my husband took it to go to work which wasn’t close, so my first thought was to call one of my neighbors; which is now one of my best friends. She heard the panic in my voice and within 10 minutes she was at my doorstep. She helped me clean up my dirty carpet, took us to the hospital and took care of us once discharged. They have become our family; beautiful people that whenever we need something, they are always there for us and vice versa. Those people are your tribe, don’t be afraid to ask for help. No you may think, “How am I going to ask my neighbors or anyone for help at this moment when we are all socially distancing”? Well, as restrictions are being slowly lifted, take the necessary precautions and talk to your neighbor to see if they are willing to lend out a hand with anything they might be able to help out with. As we have seen so many unfortunate events take place around the world there is also something that has warmed my heart and that is compassion. I have seen how people, strangers have helped one another and shown compassion for each other so go ahead and reach out! You may be surprised and you may find out that your new best friend has been living next to you all along.
This one is very important because if you don’t communicate how you feel with those around you not only are you being affected by how you feel but you are affecting others as well. When I have an “Off” day, which you can have and that is totally fine, I will tell my husband about my feelings and mood and that way he knows and gives me some space or takes care of the kids while I take some time for myself. You have to learn to identify what your feelings are and communicate them to your family, so that they can help and better support you, especially during these trying times.
These three things are key for me, not only to navigate motherhood through quarantine but to navigate life itself as a mother/wife living with Postpartum Depression:
-Staying active (exercise, go hiking, etc.)
-Essential Oils (I will talk more about this in another blog entry)
-Take on a personal project
Hopefully some of these might be helpful to you too. Let me
know in the comments if you have tried any and what was your experience. If not,
then what are you doing that is helping you through this quarantine? Remember
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gets posted, until next time! 
